There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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