A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
