Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
