ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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