I want to stick my p in your. b.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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