omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
