You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
