handjob tips. give me some.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
