i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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