he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
