I think I won the penis lottery.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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