No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
