I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
