Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
