I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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