OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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