There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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