What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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