I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
