Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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