Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize