I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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