this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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