You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
