He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
