Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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