thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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