I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
