just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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