I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
