Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
