Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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