Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
