Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
me + whiskey = a bad person
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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