Porn is love you can see.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
