She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
