Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
