How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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