Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
