it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
