Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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