i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
