Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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