This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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