I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she told me i tasted like america
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize