just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
