Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
