I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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