He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
