This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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