WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
