My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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