looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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