ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
