HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
