I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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