I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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