Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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