see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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