i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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